I wonder.. Have you ever felt like crap some days?

Why can’t I be pretty and flawless?

Like, there are so many people out there who can rock whatever clothes they’re on

Why can’t I be like them?

Why was I born in this country?

I don’t belong here

There isn’t any values that suit with my belief system

There isn’t much opportunity People from other country always look down on us

There are too many barbaric actions with our faces on the front page I don’t belong here, and I don’t want to live here

Can you be born somewhere and feel like you just don’t fit?

Why wasn’t I born in other country with better education and society values?

If that’s the case, surely my parents don’t have to struggle and sell everything they have just to get me to some schools.

Do you ever wish.. that you weren’t born with certain race?

And you are forced to become minority forever

As if, no matter how good you are You will always be seen by your race And they will do anything to stop you

Or gender. Have you ever felt you regret being woman?

There are always some jerks that don’t take you seriously

When you’re angry to your employees, They spread rumors that you’re bossy.

And people will judge you based on your appearance, inevitably.

They might say that they don’t.

But you’re too naive if you believe them.

And the worst part is,

No matter how good you are,

No matter how perfect your career is,

No matter how great your personality is,

No matter how many achievements you have unlocked,

It will all come down to one question: Who are you going to marry?

It’s bitter. It’s messed up. I never realize there’s a harsh world out there. They always see women merely as someone else’s wife.

So your parents try to get out the best of you. Not for YOU. But just so you get the BEST GUY.

I mean, seriously, this is something that guys will not face in their lives!

Guys? Guys can do anything they want! Fuck it!

They can sneak out late at night. They can go with their friends every day. They can pick whoever they want to spend their lives with.

Have you ever felt like crap because you badly, badly, want someone else’s life?

Maybe because they are much richer and they can get away so easily in life. While we struggle, every single day and night, just to make our ends meet.

Maybe because they can travel anytime they want to.

While we are stuck in the office cubicle, counting on the days when our savings are enough just to buy the cheapest tickets possible.

Maybe because they have the perfect relationship.

While we spend years and countless times dating the wrong people.

Maybe because they can live in your dream country.

While we are trapped in the society we loathe.

Maybe because their life seems…. almost perfect.

And yet, we… We are barely getting by. We put all of our hopes that someday everything will fall into the right places.

But is that enough?

Okay, if you are waiting for the positive message on this post, well I don’t have any.

I feel like all of us get this feeling of envy.

And I know, it feels like crap hanging on our window. Because all those self-help books and those rich motivators always say, "Hey, doesn’t matter where you come from, as long as you work hard." Well, I wanna say, "That’s a giant pile of bullshit." Truth is

It matters.

In fact, your identity can play such a pinnacle role in determining your success. Yes, because this is the real world that we live in.

There’s always, always, always, prejudice, stereotype, and discrimination.

No matter how hard we try to hide it,

I make a peace with myself and accept the fact that they will always exist.

So what’s the point of all this rants?

Well…

I just wanna say, If you ever feel like crap some days, You feel like you aren’t the luckiest people in the world,

If you feel like life is unfair, Just know that you’re not alone. I feel it too.

And I got envy, oftentimes.

Why I can’t be like them? For God’s sakes….

But,

I guess we all still have the chance to make it right.

And maybe,

Just maybe,

Our children will have less to complain in the future.

Follow me on Instagram @Falen_Naoenz and find me chirping on Twitter @Wandersmurf!