I used to dream about being a travel blogger. I always think that they have the best kinds of job, being able to work anywhere in any part of this beautiful planet Earth. Literally, being paid to taste new country, new dish, new culture, or new hotel. It’s a dream job, ain’t it?

But then I realized, this job comes with a price. Not only that I have to be a sight for the eyes (honestly, it matters), I also have to note every little details about my traveling experience, up to the point where I actually have to write down my expense. I need to take good pictures, at least somewhat represent the actual scenery that I view at that point. And so, all of my traveling time is wasted for something for my blog, instead of me actually enjoying my time there.

And I realize, I don’t really like it. I want to travel freely, without any burden or schedule on when to leave, where to take Instagram-able photos, what must-eat, and whatnot. I don’t want to lie to people when I say that some of tourism spots are ordinary. I don’t want to feel the need to over-describe it just because I’m a travel blogger. I feel that my writing is better when I don’t write for money, it’s best when I just pour all my heart and thought without thinking whether someone else might like it or not. And so, I start to realize that being travel blogger may not be my dream job anymore.

This leads me to think,

How many artists/bloggers/influencers have lost their own voices, identities, or preferences, just because they make it to the big stage?

I guess, no matter how deep our passion is, when money comes to it, we started to lose objectivity.

Take this for example. I have followed some food bloggers since they were not as popular as they are now. They used to tell their followers the honest recommendation, if some dishes are bad, if some prices are just rip-offs, if the ambiance is not worth it, or if the service is rude. But now, they got invited a lot to the opening of new cafes and restaurants, and since then, everything becomes flowery-selling-all-positive-and-good stories for EVERY restaurants they’ve been into. I become uninterested because they are just "catalog" for positive restaurants reviews. Nothing honest anymore.

Or take travel bloggers. Some of them actually post more endorsements toward certain products rather than telling us where they travel, the culture behind it, etc. I guess, it’s a very tempting to be paid just to take picture with a product and post in in your social media account. But then again, we start to lose our identity, our voice, our original thought. Maybe they don’t even use those products, maybe they don’t even believe in what they say about it. It is what it is: an endorsement. A paid praising review. And yet, we are drawn to the big paycheck and our passion is bought, just like that.

Maybe this also what happens to many book authors. They write their first best-selling novels. And what intended to be a single novel, turns to sequel and third and forth book, just so they could get more money from it. They don’t care if the story seems forced, or if they have to make up another complication just to prolong the story.

So, my highest honor is for people who stand by their principles. I raise my hat for those who dare to turn down something because they don’t like it, because it’s not in line with what they have in mind. I adore those who are more selective in choosing what moves they’re gonna take – and whether or not they’re comfortable doing it. Most of all, I love people who are still true to themselves. I love people who are still passionate in what they do, even though they’re making smaller money than others.

Maybe, this exact kind of thinking is why I never got anywhere. I don’t know. But if we don’t even have our own voices anymore, what’s the point of success? If we’re not true to ourselves anymore, how can we expect others to like us? They’re gonna love us for who we’re not.

Anyway, this is something that I’ve been thinking lately. The old idealism versus reality all over again. Maybe I need to be slapped with a cold hard truth for once, just so that I won’t be too naive.

But until then, see you on next week soliloquy!

Follow me on Instagram @falen_naoenz or find me chirping at Instagram @wandersmurf