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Soliloquy #10: You Can Completely Change Yourself and Start Over
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Soliloquy #10: You Can Completely Change Yourself and Start Over

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Soliloquy #10: You Can Completely Change Yourself and Start Over

Some zillion years ago, I read a profound quote that changed the whole idea of myself.

It goes something like this:

You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You can change what you want about yourself at any time. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.

You can change what you want about yourself at any time. 

That really hits me. And I never fully believe it, until I realize that I have changed myself too over time.

You see, at the end of 2018, I had an epiphany. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I started counting how much I have gained weight, consumed sweet beverages, and basically eaten so unhealthily. I always had instant noodles at least twice a week, have not been in the gym for months, never eat fruits, and I always drink GALLONS of sweet drinks, from bottled sweet tea, thai tea, bubble milk tea. Every time I am out of the house, I always buy myself a sweet beverage – even when I only go to the laundry (which is like 200 meters away).

Gosh, it’s horrifying, really!

Starting Over and Making a Resolution

I am a sucker for new year resolutions. Every year, I reflected upon my last year’s resolutions and really think about what I want to achieve in the next year. In 2019, I made a pledge to myself that I will live more healthily. I mean, I only have one body and there are still so many things I want to do – I need to have a healthy functioning body to succeed.

So there goes all the sweet beverages and desserts. I refrain myself by always bringing a tumbler of mineral water on my own. Every time I eat out, I order a plain tea instead of sugar-y one. Of course, once in awhile I allow myself to sip the bubble tea. But after awhile, it has turned into a new habit. I guess it’s true what people say: you can develop a new habit after applying it for 21 consecutive days. Prove it, people!


Twice a week, I also “force” myself to consume fruit, ANY fruit. And if I cannot find any, I will drink Yakult instead. HAHAHA 😉

After several weeks, not only that I feel lighter, I also feel more energetic. Usually I will be constantly tired and sleepy all day, I procrastinate a lot and take a nap for at least 3 hours. But now I feel like I have more energy to do it all without having to snooze off every hours or so. And I got to admit, this new habit has grown on me. How do I know it? Because I cringe at the pictures of sweet drinks and cakes in Instagram. I cannot imagine the overpowering sweetness and the level of sugar that would (literally) poison us.

One of the most shocking thing too is: I read nutrition facts label. Yeah, and it is horrible!
Do you know that the drink labeled as “Pure Tea” contains only 2% of tea leaves???? The rest of it is only from chemicals to make sure that it smells and tastes like the real tea. I also find that one bottle of sweet tea can contain almost 17 grams of sugar. Holy mama, and I used to consume it every day. And I believe I’m not alone. Millions of people have been drinking it, thinking like it’s tea in a bottle, while in fact it is far away from it!

You can change what you want about yourself at any time.

That is true. Most of the times, we have a very specific view and perspective about ourselves. We take one personality test, and when it describes us as “stubborn” or “free-spirited”, we tend to take it for granted and wear it like a badge. We think we hate green tea, so we never even bother to try it. Or maybe we think that we are not worth the promotion – and will forever live as an employee. Thus, we never leave our comfort zone, because we think we’re not gonna make it as a successful entrepreneur.

The thing is, we take these specific thoughts about ourselves and ingrain it so deeply in our mind that we think we are not capable of change. But all these things, they are not permanent. Even our principles and mindsets can change over time, let alone drink preferences and dietary habit.

So what I want to say is, we can change what we want about ourselves. We have a lifetime to do so.

If you’re not happy with yourself, if you think you still lack of something, go ahead and start over! I don’t know if you like lists or resolutions, but do stuffs that motivate you the most. Hang the picture of your archnemesis to be your motivator, write down your goals every day, do whatever it takes to change yourself – one day at a time. When it has turns into a habit, it will be easier than ever.

Falencia Naoenz
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